Waving from Heaven

   Last week I sat down to read some Christmas books to my grandson Andrew. He choose one of my favorites, "Polar Express". We snuggled on the sofa with our Christmas tree sparkling in front of us and holiday decor everywhere. I did not see the greeting from heaven coming when I turned to the inscription page and it read, "1993  Happy Birthday Grant, Love your friend Samuel Ford." I gasped when I read this page to myself as it took my breath away. Childhood friend, Samuel Ford passed away this past summer tragically as a young man in his late 20's.  God brought him home on his appointed day. Our hearts have been grieving and remembering him along with his parents. My grandson didn't understand my tears and he craned his neck to look at me, his Nana, crying quietly. I was able to collect myself and read the book to Andrew but, I had forgotten who gave us that precious gift years ago!  How wonderful to experience Samuel "waving" to us from heaven that day. It was as though he was saying, hello ya'all! Don't worry about me. I'm experiencing amazing things here in heaven. I was suddenly filled with great comfort and joy. I quickly took a picture on my phone and sent it to Samuel's parents, Jeff and Maria and our son Grant. The whole experience gave me goosebumps and I smiled with assurance knowing that was a special Christmas moment indeed. It touched me deeply and I pray it is a calming salve for my friends during this first holiday season without their precious boy.
   So my word for the holidays this year is...remember.
~  I will remember as I cook meals and use family recipes.
~  I will remember my loved ones who have passed and raise a glass to toast them.
~  I will remember the "reason for the season"- Jesus' birth.
~  I will remember to listen and love deeply.
~  I will remember to take time to hold the hand of a friend who is suffering loss this season.
~  I will remember to sing long & loud Christmas carols with friends in my car. (you know who         you are!)
~  I will remember to give lavishly.
~  I will remember to be thankful, no matter what the circumstances may be.

   Just last night  friends gave us a Christmas ornament with her son's picture on it. I will treasure this special gift. Holidays have been difficult for them as they mourn the loss of their son.  Nick was a close family friend who passed unexpectedly 3 days after my sister Cheryl succumbed to leukemia in 2013. I knew the healing that had to occur to prepare those ornaments and share them this year. The back of the ornament says"Sing all ye citizens of heaven above!"  Yes! That is what he's doing this year with Cheryl and Samuel! All our deceased loved ones experience a different kind of Christmas then we are.
   So I'm going to remember those we lost too soon and pray for hurting individuals & families this Christmas. May you find comfort and joy this season as I have.

November 17th

November 17th is a good day to be thankful.
 
As the Thanksgiving holiday is upon us I'm truly thankful today for many things. I have a home that is not under siege of fire threat in California to start with. My family is healthy.  My marriage is loving and strong. I have 4 grandchildren who are all so different and amusing. Both my daughters are pregnant and due to deliver 2 more grands we are affectionately calling "the twins" Feb 7th 2019. (What kind of odds are those!?) And...my children adore me. (Right kids?)! In the midst of this season of thankfulness I am choosing joy and remembering my older sister Cheryl Marks Yates Zimmerman who passed from her 6 month battle leukemia almost 6 years ago. Today would of been her 62 birthday. I think about her every single day! Recently my granddaughter Hayley commented on a picture that is placed on my refrigerator of Cheryl. She said, "That is a pretty picture of you Nana." I gulped hard and told her it was a picture of my sister Cheryl who is now in heaven. She looked at the picture for a long stare and said, " She looks like you Nana." Several tears leaked out of my eyes. Cheryl would have loved meeting my grands. She missed the birth of my first grandchild Colton Sterling by mere weeks. She celebrated with me and would text me baby names to pass along to her niece Noelle. She really liked the name Spencer and lobbied hard for it since one of her favorite nurses at University of Washington Medical Center had that name. Sigh- As hard as it is today, I'm thankful I have wonderful memories growing up with her. We did our share of bickering and teasing each other, but in the end she was my big sister and she would always have my back.
   One of my brothers ( Ken- the good brother he calls himself) always sent out his sisters birthday gifts by November 17th each year. That meant that sister Terri and I who have birthdays in August and September would find a lovely package in November waiting for us just in time for Cheryl's birthday. I miss getting my birthday card and gift on Cheryl's birthday now!  I suppose I will ask my brother to send it for  November 17th in the future after all!  Its a good day to remember and be thankful if you are me.

5 Days Grand

Hello friends, family and faithful followers,

   I’m 5 days into being the babysitting grandparent of 2 of my adorable grands. (ages 2 and 4 years old) Their parents are celebrating an anniversary on the beaches of Kauai, Hawaii. A much deserved vacation for 2 incredibley hard working parents of 2 smart precocious toddlers. In keeping with my Wet Mittens theme, I like to share what I have observed or learned while in full control of my grands these past several days.

• “Boo Boos” are a big deal. If you have forgotten this, then let this serve as your warning to get a supply of bandaids in stock for the wee ones visiting your home. Bandaids have magic powers I’m positively sure of it.
• Staying with the “Boo boos” theme here, also be reminded that you will HEAR about this boo boo ALLLLLLL day long and you must have the same compassion for it that you did when the injury first occurred.
• Two children from the same family are in cahoots about sleeping through the night. If one sleeps through the night by some small miracle, then the other MUST wake you at 3:02 AM just to be sure your healthy sleep and REM cycles are disturbed. I tried to catch them in the act planning and scheming but failed. They probably did it when I was passed out on the sofa during an episode of Paw Patrol.
• Keeping with the Paw Patrol theme, This kids show is jackpot. 24K Gold. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner. Thank God for Ryder and his pups. I owe my debt of gratitude to them. I actually said to my husband the other day, “just yelp for help!” And “Nana, on the double!” and I whistled the theme song while sorting out  size 2T and 4T clothes for laundry.
• Serving quinoa is a bad idea to a 2 year old. They might as well be at the beach throwing sand around your kitchen. I won’t repeat a meal with that on the menu no matter how much they whine and demand for it!
• Some 4 year olds,(my granddaughter) can talk and talk and talk all day long without taking a breath to even breathe. This is a modern day miracle that should be recorded somehow.  I am in awe of this ability.
• Getting out the door and loaded into the van is a triathlon sport. I clearly need more strength training.
• Toddlers should not wear socks. The drama department at our local high school should look forward to the upcoming actors they will receive in 2028 from our family. Their play could be called “My Sock Is Hurting!” Or maybe “ If I Pull My Socks Up to My Knees, Then I Can Wear Those Shoes.” 
• I am never alone in the bathroom. They must follow me in there every single time. They must also stand very close and ask questions. They will inspect your skin, your varicose veins, underwear conditions, belly button, how many squares of toilet paper you used. why your tummy is bigger than theirs and other world problems.
• The older sibling is the foreign language interpreter for the younger sibling.  After many attempts of me trying to understand,  “mifundapa” I asked the wise 4 year old guru to give its meaning to me and I was amazed that it was “spatula”.
• You must go to bed when they do or you won’t get a wink of sleep.
• If it’s your idea, it can not possibly be a good one.
• Mustard on scrambled eggs is an acceptable cuisine. 
• The words BLUE and POO can sound the same  ALL of the time. Run to the potty when you hear either. You can also defer to the interpreter if you are not sure.
• Negotiations are needful for a peaceful resolution for picking out clothes daily. See my earlier comment about the drama department recruits forth coming from our grands...
• Unexpected kisses and phrases like “I love you Nana” make Nana forget everything exhausting about the last 5 days being Grand. 

Christmas surprises and traditions

I would be willing to bet that many of you have never heard this family story of mine.
I giggled aloud today when I saw my special Christmas ring on my dresser.
It prompted me to write this just in time for Christmas. My husband and I
celebrated our first married couple Christmas morning with his family in 1980. In his stocking, he had the normal chewing gum, tic tacs breath mints and some other "stuffers", but I had the gift that beat all Christmas stocking stuffers to come in my stocking.  I pulled out a black velvet ring box. You can only imagine what was going through my mind at this point, I joyfully opened it as the entire family gathered around me. It was a LARGE, very ugly, horn of plenty costume jewelry ring with about 8 small rhinestones. He excitedly asked me if I liked it and the other family members oooed and awwwed at how lovely it was. My head was spinning! I was then prompted to put it on and then more compliments came. I was numb. Were they all blind to how ugly and bizarre this choice of ring was!? I could barely breathe as I thought and wondered what I could have the ring made into. I only thought diamonds as I pondered, maybe a necklace or bracelet? Oh dear Lord, I will have to tell my husband privately how sorely wrong his choice for me was! Thankfully they all couldn’t stand to put me through anymore torture and as the living room filled with belly busting laughter my husband grabbed my gawdy adorned ringed hand and took me to a closet where my new set of golf clubs was wrapped in a big red bow! Such sweet relief! We still laugh about what a good sport I was that day and in true Christmas tradition I wear the ring every Christmas morning to remember how thankful I am that I married that man who gave me golf clubs our first Christmas.

Merry Christmas my friends and Happy New Year.

Learning to speak raccoon language from my new BFF

   My new best friend is James, known locally as the "Critter Getter" guy. Our relationship began a few weeks ago. We've been spending lots of time together at different hours of the day. He's so smart! He knows raccoon sign language, and he's been teaching it to me. I am so lucky to have a friend like James. He texts me to tell me when he's coming over. I gave him my home number too. One night James sat out in front of my house until after midnight. Everyone needs a friend like James.

   Several weeks ago my husband, I will call him John for now, confessed that he had found a pried open vent on the foundation of our house several weeks back, and had repaired it. Husband John knows his wife doesn't like the open freeway under our house for rodents.Wife Lorrie realllllly hates rodents. Good husband John dutifully fixed it and was placing traps to catch any unwelcome intruders. The vent and all subsequent vents were all getting destroyed every night now.Very perplexing so my heroic husband said he would replace each vent with brand spanking new vents to fix this problem once and for all! He worked for hours on this project. I love John. That night one of the vents was pulled open like butter and we weren't sure if something was coming or going out! Husband of the year announced it was time to call in the professionals. This is a great quality of my hero husband John, who knows when to throw up the white flag. Other men could learn this redeeming quality from him! It's my husband's fault though that I now spend so much of my free time with James. He made me call him and told him to come over to our house.

   James is teaching me allllllll about raccoons. He knows them very well as he learned about raccoon language from his father. He says I have a mama raccoon under my house and she has babies now there. James has a special camera he placed to record her coming and going from under my house. I love James. He's so techie. James tells me stories of his adventures with raccoons. He has a large scar on his hand from where he was bit once. James is so brave.

   Everything James has told me about this mama raccoon is true! She is a good mama and returns to her babies after going out late at night for water and food. James says she is the best one to take care of those babies. James says after we separate her from the babies, he will then reunite them (the kits) back to her. She will move them to another safe place. But first he has to fix all the vents with super duper special made vents he has made just for him. Then he puts in a special door that locks behind her at night when she emerges. He made sure she would go in and out it one night just to be sure. James is so patient and careful. He records everything so he can know for sure what mama raccoon is doing. I'm so proud of my new friend who is taking good care of me and my foundation house-guests. Yesterday Mama raccoon,let's call her Rhonda now, after my best friend in college. Rhonda was locked out and tried for hours to break into my house foundation but James made a mistake and didn't screw down the crawlspace door completely! Rhonda then pried it open and found her way back to the babies! Hooray! Wait, this is not good. James feels very badly for his mistake but I forgave him because after all he is my new best friend. James is letting Rhonda recover from the trauma and hopes she will move her babies this weekend. Rhonda is being recorded on camera thanks to James. I love James.

   James is teaching me about a mother raccoons unbending love. He is also teaching me to be very very careful with my dog around  Rhonda. So far they haven't met. He is teaching me about being patient. He's trying to save me money too by hoping she moves the babies herself and he won't have to go searching for them under the bowels of my home. One thing he didn't teach me, but I  gleaned on my own... is for me to give his business card to my neighbors. Rhonda will be moving in next week to their house!



 

Sibling love

   This past fall season we said our long slow goodbyes to our mother Shirley. She was the last cog of the family wheel that connected us siblings together. When the story of my life was written by God, I didn't imagine myself grieving the loss of my mother and the loss of my oldest sister 4 years earlier to leukemia so close together. We were siblings of a count of five, but here we were as a clan of four stinging from the loss of one sister and honoring our mother at a graveside. The loss was huge to me.  I truly wasn't prepared for the compounded grief even though I saw it coming. 

       Here I am months later and I can honestly say healing can and has washed over me in wonderful unexpected ways. OK, So, I've been thinking about my siblings quite a bit these days. I recently saw all of them at my mother's funeral on those chilly days in late October. I felt moved and I did tell them, (but I didn't think anyone was listening to the #4 little sister) that now that mom was gone we would need to become more intentional about spending time with one another and communicating better. I am the lone black sheep of the family living in God forsaken land of crazies in California. They all live in the vast and lovely (and too cold for me) Big Sky Country of Montana. The gap and travel chasm has many miles between.

    As I write I've glanced over at my calendar and I smile because my older brother Ken and his wife Paula arrive tomorrow for a visit during a trip they've planned. One week later my oldest brother Ron and wife Nancy arrive and are bringing some of my mom's belongings to me that I chose for myself after the funeral. Then 2 weeks later my youngest sister Terri and my two nieces AND great nephew come for a week! So in one month I will receive a visit from allllllll my siblings! I am so thrilled beyond what you can imagine. Even if they just came for dinner and drove off that night I would still have felt like the King of England had just stopped by for tea. 
   Now back to the part where I said I'd been thinking about my siblings. I had a memory this past week as my friend Denise taught a women's bible study and she recalled a story about sharing a bed with her sister growing up. She as the younger one wanted her sister to just "talk" to her at night. I suddenly remembered sharing a room with my older sister Cheryl and some of our "sister antics" flooded back to me.  She always got the top bunk. Think BIG sister and pecking order for the top bunk rules. So, I never got the top bunk as a little sister. Nightly I laid in the lower bunk below and would push my feet up on the springs and bounce her on her mattress. That turned into a giggle fest or she grew weary and got mad at me, or my legs got tired but most often our dad came in to scold and tell us to knock it off and go to sleep. Those memories triggered something I'd forgotten. I remember we talked a lot. Well, maybe it was me doing most of the talking back then, but I recalled the sister dialogue that took place between the bunks. Conversations that grew us up together. What stayed with me all these years is that she listened to me. I recall a sense of love and belonging because she did. It was a familiar and strong emotion then and  I felt it again as my siblings have made their plans to visit me this month.They listened to the words I communicated from my heart AND they really must love me!? How incredibly blessed am I!? 

    Each one of these brothers and sisters made a unique impression on my life. My oldest brother Ron defined his moment in my life in the early 70's when our father Gene left for several months as he checked into a rehab center for alcoholism. My father left my oldest brother Ron in charge as man of the house during his absence. Ron took it very serious. He also ran the household while our mother worked full time. I recall eating A LOT of spaghetti since that was all he really knew how to cook. Bless his heart.

 Older brother Ken is most famous for rescuing me from bully boys on the playground when I was in first grade and he was in fifth grade. My hero. I won't forget him helping lace and tie my ice skates as a little girl and then "allowing" me to play hockey for a few minutes with his buddies on the far end of Gibson pond in Great Falls, Montana. He always kind of humored me,but kept a protective eye out for me too. I knew how to duck his brotherly punches, but I wasn't quick enough to elude ice cubes down my back and constant teasing though.

    My youngest sister Terri was the family favorite as she was added into the Marks clan 7 years after me. I don't ever remember having an argument with her.I loved her so deeply. Her strawberry red hair and creamy complexion was the envy of  all. Her pretend friends (Dougen and Ricken) and playful personality was our family entertainment and still is to this day. Most of all, she always made me laugh. I thank God for her daily and wish we lived closer to one another. We plan to soak up some sister love time during her visit.   I am blessed they are all visiting me here during our soggy rainy California winter. Hopefully they won't see my tears of joy running down my face then.💗


                                                             


  Brother Ken and Lorrie February 2017

My Perfect Storm

I knew it was coming when I left Montana in August after a visit with my failing mother. It was as they say, the perfect storm.  When I last said goodbye to her I cried and sobbed out of control in the hallway of her resident home with my poor brother Ken who gently patted my back to comfort me. Nobody wants to cry like that in public. It makes everyone feel uncomfortable. Especially your brother!

  As weeks passed into September I could feel mom slowly slipping away as conversations with her became shorter and more difficult for her. She would quit talking and lay the phone down in her lap from fatigue after a few minutes and I would have to hang up. Candid conversations with my siblings about my mothers fast decline made me look at the calendar and wonder how in the name of God Holy Father were things going to work themselves out with my earthly plans? Many questions flooded my mind. When was my mother going to pass to heaven?  Didn't God know my long prayed for granddaughter Mackenzie Jane was due in early October? Did God forget about the pain in my knee that I had been struggling with for a year and after 2 MRI's was finally diagnosed as a meniscus tear? Didn't God see the calendar days ebbing away and I'd met my deductible so surgery had to be this year? Did my siblings know my internal struggle with getting on a plane and flying back up to be with them and my mother for her final days and possibly missing my granddaughters birth? Could I honor my mother and not run to her side? Was my mother hanging onto life because she was waiting for Mackenzie's birth? Did I need to remind her I was a month late when she had me, and then I was 3 weeks late with my daughter Noelle and she was already a week late with her 8th great grandchild? What could I do from California when she was 1079 miles from me? I was slowly going crazy with the reality that babies are born and loved ones die and I couldn't do ANYTHING about it. I was in a constant state of planning in my mind for all the possible scenarios depending on which happened when and where. It was exhausting!

 Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 says "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. A time to give birth and a time to die." I believed this but as the perfect storm was brewing in my life I truly and honestly was fighting a lack of faith for the first time in a long time. I was suffering because of my lack of peace as well. Sleep eluded me for weeks and I seemed very preoccupied with my circumstances. Several huge events were about to collide and the angst and anxiety were overwhelming my boat that was being tossed about in the storm. Just one thing had to happen and I could see it would all fall into place. I finally decided to trust the one who holds life in His hands. I prayed for perfect timing and asked others to join me. All the miracles began to fall into place. I was able to participate by phone in a final bedside service with mom. Brother Ron held the phone receiver up for me to hear. He said mom opened her eyes when she heard my voice. I was able to tell mom I love her the day before she died. She tried hard to mouth the words "love you" back. I declared to her that Mackenzie was going to be late and we would take good care of her. She needed to go be with Jesus and meet up with daddy and sister Cheryl. I'm not sure how I formed those words cheerfully and strong, but I did. I prayed God would receive my mother into eternity with mercy and love...and He did. My sweet mother passed into heaven early October 5th, 2016 while my sister Terri held her hand and had just texted me. A sense of relief washed over me knowing her suffering was over and her new life had begun. 

 My wonderful siblings gave me several weeks before the burial and memorial service in Montana to greet our new granddaughter who arrived 8 days late October 18, 2016. I liked what my nephew Erik said, "it was like Grama Shirley and Mackenzie passed in the hallway of heaven." After Mackenzie's safe arrival we were able to travel easily to Montana for services October 27-30. We all cried, laughed, and loved for several days. I needed that warm blanket of love from my family. Mom taught us that well. Now I've spent 4 days resting, reading and sleeping in Lake Tahoe and resetting myself back after what was often a schizophrenic emotionally charged month. There was so much joy and so much sorrow as I held little Mackenzie and tearfully told her all about her great grandmother one morning at 3 am while everyone slept. Sorrow in knowing I can't pick up the phone and chat with my mom anymore. Joy in the assurance that my mom is in the presence of the Lord God.  Heavenly rest for my mother, and some earthly rest for me. So now the final piece of the puzzle is being played out next week as I receive out patient surgery to repair my knee. Timing has been perfect. God heard all my prayers (and yours too). So somehow the storm gave me peace in the midst, and strengthened me, strengthened my faith, and my injured knee... imagine that!?

 My mother Shirley holding her first granddaughter Noelle Marie.

 Me holding my new granddaughter Mackenzie Jane.

Thank you for your love support and care these recent weeks. 
As we say at my house LYAAF (love you always and forever)
Lorrie